High School Reunion

I recently attended my High School Reunion.

I really did not want to go. When I first received the notification of the event I had no intention on attending.
I an an introvert and a private person. I did not have a ton of "friends" when I was in High School. Most of my thoughts about that time seem to touch on the idea of a popularity contest.

Since that is NOT something I succeed at, I usually try to avoid them (popularity contests). I also use my emotional protective skills and diminish any value to things associated with them.

However, I did decide to go. I registered. Paid my fees. Put it on the calendar.

As the days drew closer to the actual events I found myself dreading the whole idea more and more. On the day of the first mixer I had to actually make myself go through the motions of getting ready and going. I was VERY resistant.

"I didn't want to be with those people when I was in HS, why would I want to spend any time with them now?"

Anyway, I made it to the mixer and stood in the corner barely talking with anyone. Sure I had a few forced conversations but I was a complete emotional wreck.

I made it to the school the next day to attend the tour. Again I was very uncomfortable with the whole scenario.

I had to go home and take a nap because I was exhausted and the big dinner event was that night.

If you haven't figured it out yet, let me just say I was still dreading this whole reunion thing and I did not want to be a part of it. But yet I was overcoming my own bad attitude and doing what needed to be done to get there.

On the way to the big dinner thing I was analyzing why I was having such a negative emotional response to MY reunion. If this were any other business meeting or family gathering or spouse's reunion etc I would be perfectly fine. I would be able to walk up to a complete stranger and begin a conversation and feel absolutely comfortable.

Then it occurred to me ... I didn't have the material things I felt I should to be "successful". I didn't have a fabulous job title to impress anyone with. I didn't have some special activity that I was involved with that was changing peoples lives.

I felt intimidated, inferior, incompetant, and like a failure.
What a revelation!

I thought I had dealt with those feelings long ago.
I thought I had made significant progress in overcoming my insecurities.
Apparently not!

So now I get to work on my self image and value some more.
I am not what I drive.
I am not where I work or my job title.
I am not the value of where I live (dwelling, neighborhood, community)
I am not the clothes I wear.
I am not my church or ministry.
I am not my children's decisions or actions.

I am who I am - made by God and for God.
My identity is in Jesus Christ and Him alone.

I am thankful now that I went to that reunion. It moved me into an uncomfortable area and the result is greater awareness of my own areas of opportunity for growth.

What is an area that you are working on or a story about a time when you experienced a "growth" moment.